Building A Testimony
I woke up the other morning with a fresh dream: that God was eager to give me more testimonies.
Was it just a dream, or was God speaking? It could just be something on my mind, since I’ve been writing about the theme of building a testimony every week for the blogs for the online school of the Spirit. But it could also be God speaking; after all, I’ve had a theme for all the blogs every month this year without dreaming about them. And Romans 8:16-17 gives me a good reason to believe the dream may have come from God:
When I was a pastor, I often noticed that the best testimonies can’t be told. Many were highly personal, and many could embarrass others. So I often knew of wonderful things God was doing among us but most of the church was unaware.
And this week as my wife and I have been involved in a couple of artistic projects, we have testimonies we can’t share because they involve opportunities that may or may not pan out. They aren’t really testimonies yet.
JoAnn has produced a variety of prints over the years. We learned of an art show within walking distance of our home, and at first she was going to participate and then she changed her mind. I felt it was important to encourage her. So I worked on a project of my own to display – it took longer than expected – and she put in the hours to get her materials ready.
The only problem was that God set significantly better opportunities in front of each of us this week, and our participating in the local art show forced us to overwork this week. For JoAnn, it was an opportunity that could lead to a much larger assignment; she had to prepare this presentation in addition to the art show. And for me, I learned that I have a firmer deadline than I realized for turning JoAnn’s testimony into a book – it would be inappropriate to write about it, but God has opened a door and I need to be faithful to walk through it.
Where does suffering come in? Romans 8:16-17 says the Holy Spirit wants to talk to us about our inheritance, but part of our receiving it is suffering.
So far, in the context of the doors God has opened for us, our suffering begins with self-denial. We have to say no to good ideas – things like the art show – and even to things we want to do, so we can focus our strengths on the main challenges God has given us.
Further, spiritual warfare begins when we try to focus on the main thing God is telling us to do. There is no battle over non-strategic ground. Often our computer equipment and email, which work flawlessly most of the time, suddenly develop glitches when we have a deadline as we try to accomplish the main thing God has given us to do.
It takes an effort to receive our inheritance. God gives it freely, but there is always opposition. It won’t just fall in our laps. The kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
Soaking Meeting
Our life is in God’s promise. Sunday morning, my Bible reading took me to Isaiah 27, and I found this:
I have been in a season of temptation lately that exactly illustrates how we can disconnect with His mercy and favor. For the last two weeks, I have had a battle with hopelessness and discouragement. It’s come and gone, but every few days I have battled the feeling that nothing I do matters.
Friday night I led a soaking meeting, which I host each month at my home church as long as travel doesn’t make it impossible. As I stood at the keyboard, I played and sang, trusting God for a tune and for words. Like a drowning man who seizes a bit of flotsam, I grasped an odd little melody that came to mind and built a song around it. And then there was another key and a new melody, and then another, and then back to the first as if the whole were a single well-ordered composition.
As I played, I felt I owed everyone an apology. It all seemed trite to me, and I wondered if the people were sitting before me, feeling trapped by an etiquette that would not allow them to leave. So I stopped the music and reached into a ministry time. “Who would like prayer?”
The ministry time seemed blessed, and I invited people to help minister to one another with me. They did well.
The meeting ended and Mike Burns, who had run sound, presented me with a recording of the first 80 minutes. A couple of days later, I played the music to see if it was as dreadful as it had felt when I played. By the time I had listened for a few minutes, I realized I didn’t need to apologize for it. The thoughts of my heart had all been a lie.
I’m sharing this because, sooner or later, we all face this temptation. And Isaiah 27:11 points out the key issue we must settle in our hearts: do we understand that God is pouring His mercy and favor into us and through us as we do our best to serve and love His people?
If we don’t discern or understand, we will judge ourselves by the wrong standard and be tempted to give up.
If we don’t discern or understand that God is using us, we will believe a lie about ourselves and it will enslave us. And then, by forfeiting our freedom, we will no longer be able to follow Jesus in the daily assignments He gives us.
We can allow many things to put us off. Over the years, here are a few things that have tempted me to misjudge the mercy and favor of God: the crowds were too small or unresponsive; someone else’s gifts outshone mine and I wasn’t needed; I was too young for God to use me; I was too old, and my day had passed. At least I’m old enough now that I never feel too young for God to use me.
But the antidote is what Jesus used: “It is written.” Isaiah 27:11 made it clear to me that I have to be faithful not to despise what God is doing through me. And I encourage you to take the verse to heart as well. It will revive our will and give us the strength to keep moving forward, using our gifts to give a drink of water to a disciple, and washing the feet of the saints.
Worship Conference
For the past few weeks, a theme has recurred in my prayer life: that there is rejoicing in heaven when people repent on the earth.
The elections were taking place when I posted last week’s blog; votes were counted by Wednesday. I can report that I was gratified at some things that happened in the election and troubled by a few others. But scripture doesn’t say God rejoices when a Democrat or a Republican wins the election; He rejoices when a sinner repents.
I didn’t see anyone repenting as the campaigning was going on – I saw a lot of debating and arguing – and I’m afraid there were many who supported the candidates and measures I voted for, but they did so with such a mean spirit that it made me cringe.
Jesus said they will know we are His disciples not by our voting record, but by our love. Some of us have impeccable voting records, but little love. Whose disciples are we? What have we learned from Jesus?
I will be praying for three things in the next few years: (1) that God will raise up men and women of godly character to serve in both political parties in our country; (2) that God will move more of His people into the media and that He will give them a voice; and (3) that there will be revival on a grass-roots level.
Unless hearts turn, there will be nothing for heaven to rejoice about.
I believe there was rejoicing in heaven as we met at the worship conference in Santa Maria, CA. My friends Betty Machado and Joseph Councilman put it on; Pastor Roger Wheeler opened his church to host the gathering.
Worship was good and the manifest presence of God was strong in meeting after meeting. But in one of the meetings, Kathleen Carnali was leading us in a spontaneous song in which we began putting off the works of the flesh – putting them on the altar and calling for God’s fire to consume them – and asking God for the grace of new and godly character. The altar was lined with people, breaking before God.
A cynic might look on and wonder: how long-lasting will this repentance be? Did lives really change?
Nobody can answer this question; only time will tell. But the scripture doesn’t say that when sinners repent, angels put them on probation for forty days to see if their repentance will stand the test of time. There is rejoicing in heaven whenever we repent – sinners turning to Jesus for the first time, or Christians turning to Him for fresh cleansing later.
At the pastors’ gathering, we picked up the theme. It is possible to allow God to circumcise our hearts and, by grace, to make a commitment to God and not waver. It is possible to trust Christ and become a new creation, with old things passed away and all things made new.
We can pray for revival, but do we believe the gospel? Do we believe that if Jesus comes in, life will be different? Do we believe He frees us from sin, or do we expect to wallow in it as long as we live?
Jesus said, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”
I rejoice that I saw repentance in an atmosphere of the Holy Spirit at the worship conference. I’m sure there was rejoicing in heaven. And I’m sure that in at least some of us, change will prove to be lasting.
I hope we will all pray for revival as we prayed for the election that just took place. No candidate, Republican or Democrat, has the power to transform our nation as deeply and as permanently as the Holy Spirit can if He brings repentance and revival.
Pray For Us
In October, I’ve listed what happened as I’ve done the assignments week by week. I’m sure you’ve noticed that some experiences were more profound than others.
That’s the whole point of developing a lifestyle of spending time with God and ministering to people: if we aren’t faithful to keep reaching for more of Him even when it doesn’t seem to amount to much, we’ll miss many of the unusual experiences God has planned for us.
I won’t list the few remaining things that happened in October, except for one. As I was soaking, the idea came to me that I should use a steno pad and devote a page to each project ‘m praying about. Then when I soak, I can work through the pages and review what God has already shown me, and jot down anything else He reveals.
I’ve begun, and found myself in tears as He began to speak to me about my various projects. I sensed His compassion towards His people.
I like to devote the first blog every month to prayer requests, so here’s how you can pray for us, as God leads.
Meetings. I don’t have many meetings planned for this month because of a writing project I want to make time for – more about that in a moment – but will be involved at a Worship Encounter in Santa Maria this weekend. My role will usually be in the background, though I have been asked to lead worship at the pastors’ meeting and then to do a workshop on Saturday afternoon.
I’m excited about the workshop. The idea first came to me a few months ago; I plan to do a bit of teaching about hearing God’s voice, and then in our soaking time reach for an impartation of prophetic creativity.
God is the God who does a new thing. He doesn’t lock Himself into old patterns. It will take prophetic inspiration for us to break out of our ruts and move with God in the new things He wants to do.
Then on November 14, I’m having another soaking meeting at my home church. I’m always surprised and delighted at the unexpected things God will do as we draw near to Him and let Him have His way. I’m sure there will be testimonies and personal ministry when we meet – the rest will come into view when the time comes.
Please pray for us, that God will anoint and bless the meetings, that He’ll open the doors that need to open, and that we won’t go through doors that don’t need to open.
The Online School. I’ve gotten a few new ideas for the online school. The first is the Scavenger Hunt, a way to make the monthly assignment more specific and challenging. Meanwhile, I’ll be revamping the web pages to make the materials easier to use.
This month’s CD, available to all who send a donation of any amount, is “Building A Testimony.” It doesn’t take long to become someone who has fresh stories to tell of what God is doing in our lives.
I believe the school will be more useful if I let the materials focus on something specific each month, with a definite beginning and end. If you haven’t seen it yet, visit the Assignment page and look at the scavenger hunt.
Writing JoAnn’s Story. My biggest project in the next few months will be to write JoAnn’s testimony. I already have a rambling book-length manuscript that she compiled before we met, but my job is to tighten it and make it into a book. You can read the short version at http://diaryofanexorcism.com.
It’s a challenge because it demands a writing style I’ve never used before. I’ve already begun, and am enjoying the process. Maybe I’ll turn into a real writer by the time the book is done. Please pray for us, that we can stay focused, and that the Holy Spirit will anoint me to tell her story with clarity and grace.